From the Sublime to the Ridiculous

These are supposedly actual logged maintenance complaints by QUANTAS pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics. (Supplied by Mechatronics Technician Mr F, who will naturally be on the side of the mechanics and their subversive use of language!)

P stands for the problem the pilots entered in the log.
S stands for the corrective action taken by the mechanics.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back order!!

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing. (note: this was for a piston-engineered airplane; the pilot meant the engine was not running smoothly).
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique Bauby

It is amazing that someone almost completely paralysed after a stroke, and able to communicate only by moving one eyelid, should nevertheless conceive, compose and dictate this memoir. Jean-Dominique Bauby found himself in a completely alien situation but still managed to convey to us his love of life and family as well as his sense of humour. He dictated the book letter by letter by blinking whenever his assistant reached the appropriate letter in the alphabet, so the whole book was planned and edited in his head. By the end of this book, which is just over 100 pages long, you will feel you really know the author, so well has he conveyed his personality. It is a tragic yet also uplifing work.

Here is the website of the film which has been made of the book.

Day 97; Book 96

Nation by Terry Pratchett

I had put off reading this because I don't tend to like reading children's books but this one had plenty of depth and would be equally enjoyed by adults. The idea is unusual and the action exciting, plus there are the usual Pratchett throwaway humorous lines. It's a satire as well and he makes a good case for his point of view. Very enjoyable.

Next, still basking in reflected glory, I decided to read Alison Baverstock's Marketing your Book: an Author's Guide. This is in an easy-to-read style and the author has lots of experience of her subject. It's interesting that your book can still fail even after you find a publisher - apparently appropriate marketing is essential.

A Radio Commemoration of Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1950) is a short work published 59 years ago, but still full of insights into the life and writing of R L Stevenson. Reading this has made me want to read Kidnapped again (I read Treasure Island again fairly recently). Terry Pratchett's Nation, incidentally, has some echoes of Treasure Island (as well as of Coral Island).

I had also been reluctant to read The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly. Regular readers will know how much I like John Connolly, but because this book is about a boy and has a "childish" cover, I wrongly assumed it was a children's book. I started to read it anyway and was soon hooked. It wasn't until I was at the end that I read that the author explicitly states that it is not a children's book, which was a relief because it is a very scary book indeed and I am sure it would give any sensitive child nightmares! The theme of loss is very strong too. Here is a link to a website all about the book.

Perfect Match by Jodie Picoult is another work of fiction which the author bases on a controversial current issue. How far would you go to protect your child and how far would it be acceptable for you to go? You may not agree with the main character's decision (and I didn't) but I still felt for her.

Finally I had an enjoyable time reading The World According to Bertie by Alexander McCall Smith. This is part of the Scotland Street series, originally published in daily serial form in the Scotsman newspaper, and set in contemporary Edinburgh. McCall Smith's humanity always shines through in his books, as you will know if you have read the Ladies' Detective Agency series. Here there are just as many sympathetic characters, but also the monstrous (in their different ways) Irene and Bruce. You want Bruce in particular to come a cropper, but unfortunately he is more likely to continue on his self-satisfied way ...

Day 96; Book 95

In which your intrepid reader basks in reflected glory

If you look at the post below you'll see an image of a new novel, Windows of the Soul, written by my friend Jo Alexander! She's a local author and I'll quote from the back cover of her book to give you a flavour of what it's about:

"Vienna and Jazz - two women who belong to different generations and who have never met - struggle to come to terms with events and tragedies in their lives. Vienna is a fifty-something housewife whose marriage is beginning to show signs of being past its sell-by-date; Jazz is a much younger career-girl who hates the thought of being trapped in a permanent relationship, while her boyfriend longs for a baby. Will Vienna's marriage disintegrate? Will Jazz grow up? Is there a connection between these two women? As events unfold both women have to cope with grief and pain and both have to try to rebuild their lives. Will either find happiness and peace again?"

I can tell you it's an involving story, written in a flowing, easy-to-read style, and I wanted to read on and on to find out what happens. You'll need a hanky for some of the scenes too! The main characters are both very sympathetic in their different ways. All in all a very enjoyable read.

Anyone who knows me is more than welcome to borrow my copy and if you then decide to buy a copy for a friend I will be happy to give you the details. ***STOP PRESS*** Now available on Lulu with the opportunity to preview the text (just click on the preview button at the bottom)

I'm so excited that I know a real live author!

Windows of the Soul by Jo Alexander

Mr F's Curried Lentil Soup!

I'm featuring this because it was so good, and despite Mr F's complaints about the Recipe Scrapbook slideshow I posted below ... to be honest, it IS annoying that you can't stop on the individual pictures and enlarge them, but after managing to master making the slideshow AT ALL, I expected nothing but praise! Here is his recipe anyway, and you will recognise that it is in his own words.

Curried Lentil Soup

1. The Soup:

2 tbsp. oil
1 tsp. mustard seed
Onion - 1 large, 2 medium, peeled, chopped
Potato - 1 large, 2 medium, peeled, diced
Carrots - 2 large, 3 medium, peeled, quartered, chopped
250 g. red lentils
Water (boiled)
Salt (lots!)

Heat mustard seed in oil until it crackles. Add onion, fry until browned. Add potato,
carrots and lentils. Stir and fry for 1 minute or so, and then add boiling water and salt.

2. In a saucer, combine:

1 tsp. Schwartz curry powder and 1/2 tsp. each of turmeric, garam masala, coriander,
cumin, fenugreek, cayenne pepper, ginger, ground allspice, paprika and 1/4 tsp. crushed
chillies.

Toss into soup and stir. Boil up for 30 mins. Sorted.

Only Children by Alison Lurie

Here is Alison Lurie's website, for anyone who is interested in reading more about this intelligent author.

Alison Lurie is very often described as witty, but I think that is more in the sense of her observations being clever, wry and apposite rather than in the sense of lightheartedly amusing. (Although I did laugh out loud at The Last Resort in a few unexpectedly hilarious scenes). Only Children I found rather sad, although as good a read as usual. The character of Mary Anne, a feisty 9-year-old, is very well drawn and appealing (even when she has a terrible temper tantrum).

Another interesting aspect of Alison Lurie is the way her characters pop up in different books at different ages, and you get to see them from a different angle.

Day 92; Book 89